Personal Growth

Taker vs. Giver

August 11, 2015

tumblr_nj7ru3IczE1rs3ltto1_540* This is a post I never would have written 9 years ago. At that point in my life I was sick, depressed, and thought the problem was with everyone else. Thankfully, I have been shown a different way, and it has radically changed my life, my emotional health, and my friendships.


The taker version of us wants to take, horde and hide in every situation. Take stuff, horde money, hide ourselves and our abilities, take from relationships. This version feels that other people owe them and should be helping/giving to help us rather than the opposite.

It waits to be called instead of calling, complains about gaps rather than filling them, waits to perfect their art before offering, and has a hard time offering forgiveness (both for themselves and others).

The giver (braver and healthier) version of us gives, offers in every situation. It calls first and doesn’t keep track, it sees gaps and fills them. It opens to love and is vulnerable but confident.

It forgives.

The giver knows we are all fragile and unfinished, as is our work. It recognizes perfect is a trick, an illusion, an ever moving target, but progress is not, so it offers and keeps offering now (imperfect but always improving).

The giver sees generosity as a way of living life (the best way) rather than a single act.

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