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Is Indecision Holding You Back?

July 20, 2012

 

“In any moment of decision the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing.” ~ Theodore Roosevelt.

 

Indecision. It was our crutch. We hid behind it, used it as an excuse, and let it control our lives for years.

In the past, we let it kill our inspiration, motivation, forward progress, dreams, and goals. It will also try to kill our relationship. If it doesn’t kill it, it will at least drive a wedge between you a million miles wide.

It takes your confidence and dashes it as glass on concrete. It will take a relationship and twist it and spin it till it chokes itself. It will stomp on you, crush and disable you.

Indecision will kill you and everything you love.

I have always put off making decisions because I didn’t want to face the fear of making a wrong one. I would therefore let other people make my decisions and then I could blame them if things went awry.

I didn’t realize I was doing this, I just thought decisions couldn’t be made if the path ahead was unclear. 

 

“It does not take much strength to do things, but it requires a great deal of strength to decide what to do.” ~ Elbert Hubbard

 

My all to common go to phrases were, “Well, we just have to wait and see what happens.” Or, “We will know when it feels right.”

“I’m waiting on God.” Was also a common one. I have realized, however that most times He is waiting on us.

So what did indecision do for us for the past 7 years? It kept us:

  • feeling like victims of life
  • confused
  • discontent
  • angry
  • bitter
  • disunited

We finally realized our lives were going nowhere. Unless we made a decision as to where we wanted our lives to go, we could dream till the cows came home, but it would never happen.

Since embracing decision making, we have found:

  • encouragement
  • unity
  • focus
  • motivation
  • we don’t feel like victims of life anymore

 

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life. ~ Proverbs 13:12 

 

 

Here are 5 ways we have sharpened our decision making skills:

1. Take action! Set a deadline for the decision; don’t drag it out! Most decisions only take a couple days. A life altering decision 3 weeks, maximum. Any more time, and discouragement and self doubt set in.

2. Make a decision quickly and change your mind slowly. This is a sign of all great leaders. I have heard it said that a quick decision is often your best decision and is better than no decision at all.

3. Have your life goals and values clearly defined. Set goals for 1,2,5, and 10 years and then filter all decisions through these goals. They orient you and keep you in line.

 “It’s not hard to make decisions when you know what your values are.” ~ Roy Disney

4. Don’t be afraid of failure. Acknowledge that sometimes you will make a bad decision. This is how we learn and grow in life.

5. Acknowledge that we have been given minds and reasoning abilities for a reason. I have been created to think and decide and move forward.

“We must make the choices that enable us to fulfill the deepest capacities of our real selves.” ~ Thomas Merton

Question: Is indecision holding you back?

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  • Donna Yates July 20, 2012 at 7:52 am

    I am trying to be better at making decisions and not allowing fear or others to hold me back or to use as an excuse.  I’ve done this too, Claudia, and then I can use that person as my crutch.  Change can be hard, but it can also be exhilerating!  I chose the later. 
    P.S.  The house sale is going good so far.  Just had the inspection and only a few minor issue to fix.  Next is the appraisal!  Also have applied for three jobs in Beaufort.  No word yet.  Trying to decide if I should call each next week just to follow up.  What do you think? 

    • Michael Good July 20, 2012 at 11:04 am

      Great news on the house, Donna! Wow, it’s amazing what can change in a week!

      Do you have Dan Miller’s “48 Days to the Work You Love?” He talks about all the specifics on when and how to followup with resumes and interviews. Plus, he talks about the specifics of getting a job in another area of the country or world! I bet you’d find it super helpful.

      Here’s a link the 48 day schedule: http://www.48days.com/wp-content/uploads/downloads/2011/11/48-Day-Schedule.pdf

      Look at day 29 in particular. He talks here about doing a phone follow-up and how it will immediately set you apart from the crowd.

      If you don’t have the book, email me and I’ll send you a copy. It’s that good! michael@wholeheartedhuman.com

      • Donna Yates July 22, 2012 at 10:29 am

        Michael,

        Thanks to you and Claudia.  I think the inspection issues are done and now it’s on to the appraisal.  I’ll let you know how that goes. 

        I did read 48 days years ago and actually gave my copy to someone else to use. Hopefully they can lend it back to me!  I’ll check it out again as I don’t remember all but I do remember the follow up calls.  I love Dan Miller too.  He has so much inspiration and wisdom. 

        Donna

        • Claudia Good July 22, 2012 at 5:26 pm

          Awesome Donna! Can’t wait to hear…

    • Claudia Good July 20, 2012 at 10:21 pm

      You are doing a great job at it Donna! I think you are fully embracing decision making and change. You inspire me to stay in full pursuit! 

      Wow, that is awesome about your house! So excited for you! I hope the info Michael gave you will be of great help. Dan’s advice really helped us during our most recent transition and we find consistent encouragement towards pursuing entrepreneurship and owning your own business.

      I know Michael gave you the link… his podcasts are absolutely amazing as well 😉

      Let us know how you make out…

      • Donna Yates July 22, 2012 at 10:30 am

        Thanks Claudia.  I agree, Dan has great advise.  I love getting his weekly emails to get inspiration.  I love having others with like minds giving me advise, inspiration, wisdom and the push I need to keep going after my dreams.  Thanks for being one of those people!

        • Claudia Good July 22, 2012 at 5:26 pm

          the pleasure is mine Donna… truly 🙂

  • Ann Musico July 20, 2012 at 8:11 am

    It has at times – but I’m being more intentionally decisive.  For example – I had to buy a new computer this week.  Several different people gave me their input on best brands.  Of course they all differed!  I could’ve gone all over and priced at several different stores – but time is of the essence.  I asked God to give me wisdom and lead me to the right choice.  I found what I felt was a good deal – ran it by my computer guy – he approved it and I bought it.  I trust God led me and it will serve my purposes for a LONG time! 

    • Claudia Good July 20, 2012 at 10:16 pm

      Awesome Ann!
      I bet that felt great! I love how you sought advice, did some research took everything into consideration and then made a quick decision. You are inspiring. 

  • adlib247 July 20, 2012 at 11:49 am

    Thanks for posting this guys! It inspired me to send a similar directive to my tribe: http://adlibmusic.com/#/resources/worship-fertilizer

    • Michael Good July 20, 2012 at 12:10 pm

      Thanks for sharing the link, Dave. Great read!

    • Claudia Good July 20, 2012 at 10:14 pm

      ah-hah! Now I see 😉

      Thanks Dave, you are sweet, or is that weird to say? You are cool? You are awesome? You are rockin’ – there ya go! Tis true.

  • Tricia July 20, 2012 at 12:30 pm

    Great post! So very true. We are currently in the waiting after The Decision and that has been harder than I ever imagined. It gives you time to doubt and become scared of all the ‘what if’s’. But I feel us pushing through and know that on the other side will emerge a person so much better equipped to fulfill The Decision than the one who made it. So glad you found my blog so I could find yours!

    • Claudia Good July 20, 2012 at 10:12 pm

      Thanks so much Tricia! That means a lot!
      Wow, the waiting… ahhh yes! That is definitely a time when it would be so easy to go down the route you outlined – doubt, fear, ‘what ifs.’ I really love your outlook on it!  Your words about pushing through to the other side are inspiring. It is a wonderful gift to be able to shift your focus to learning and growing from a struggle rather than dwelling in the fear and doubt. That is awesome!!! 

      So glad we stumbled upon one another’s blogs as well! 😉

      Blessings

  • Michael Wright July 24, 2012 at 4:38 am

    I like to research things to a fault sometimes and I can get caught up with putting decisions off for sure.  It’s not as bad as it used to be as many times now I have learned to trust my gut (and quickly ask the opinion of stakeholders) instead of hovering over something for weeks or months.

    • Claudia Good July 24, 2012 at 4:27 pm

      Wise Michael. Indeed. 
      Acknowledging the tendencies that can hold you back and pushing through anyway is huge!

      Truly respect your persistance. So excited to see the heights to which it will take you 🙂

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