A former nurse, Bronnie Ware, who cared for patients in their final weeks of life, recently wrote about some of her experiences in her book.
When her patients were asked if they had any regrets or if they would do anything differently, common themes surfaced again and again.
The number one regret was:
I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
When someone is at the end of their life, they are able to look back on it with a heightened sense of clarity. They think about how they lived and the dreams they had.
Everyone has dreams, many of which are never pursued. It’s at life’s end that people say, “I wish I had the courage to do those things that I always wanted to do.”
I often think of this regret in regard to the little daily things as well.
- Do I speak up if I know it’s going to ruffle some feathers?
- Do I do something if I know I’m going to be looked at as strange?
- Do I put something on social media if I know some people are going to disagree with me?
I’m amazed how much the fear of what others may think creeps in when I’m not proactive in remembering to be true to myself and who I was created to be.
Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else. ~Judy Garland
Question: What are some things you know you would regret if you never pursued them?
If I’d not stepped out to do my coaching – I would’ve greatly regretted it. I’ve met so many wonderful people and learned so much. Each time something I’ve never done before is opened up to me and my first reaction is fear or insecurity – I have made myself just do it, thanking God for the opportunity and I have never regretted it! Wonderful post and a great reminder.
Ann,
Love it! And your clients are better for it.
Michael and Claudia…one of your best post yet!
I can honestly say right now I can’t think of anything I would regret not pursuing. I don’t say that out of pride, but because I ask this question of myself every year when I set goals.
Kent,
And that is a wonderful testament to the power of goals!!!! What a wonderful blessed way to live your life! Truly a gift to not only yourself but those you influence.
Dreams. It takes hard work to first of all identify dreams, second state them, and third own and go after them. Aaah, yes. But…there comes a point that ignoring the dreams is more scary than doing them. THEN…you know you have no choice. And that is good. 😉
Well put, Char! I love how you are chasing after them and doing some amazing things. I don’t think you’ll ever regret doing that.
Michael, I have a friend that is in the same position, who is writing as well. I have always loved this quote by Thoreau that explains seams concept.
Henry David Thoreau Quotes:
“Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.”
Let’s not let this happen to us or anyone we know. Blessings, @missioncoach
Rob, thanks for that reminder. It’s hard to imagine what working with the dying would be like. I’m sure it would take a big heart and someone that is very caring and I guess a good listener. I would think it’d be a pretty heavy/grounding environment to be in every day.
This has got to be the great tragedies of all of life. To get to the end of one’s life and wonder if you lived the way you should have; if you truly lived your purpose; or if you realize that you missed out on what could have been because of other people’s expectations. Most people live like this their whole lives, and it’s sad. This post is a great reminder and wake-up call that our short time here need not be wasted but invested into what truly matters; our purpose, our dreams… We need to come alive!
Well said, Rob. I think it’s great that what you’re doing with your coaching is helping people in this way.
I have that list pasted into some notes, I’ve read it a few times. This one…is big. What bothers me most is that when we refer to ‘dreams’, many people discount it. It seems…narcissistic to the culture to a great degree. I’d like to replace it with…desires and convictions of our heart that were not passing, but a dear part of us.
Kevin,
Exactly. Dreams are often thought of as too selfish. I love how this is such a huge part of what you do with FAA. That’s an awesome message to be sharing and one that needs to be heard. Thank you.
Michael,
Unfortunately those closest to us seem to be the most influential in keeping us from pursuing our dreams because of their own fears. If it’s a God-given dream then God will get the people that matter on board with His purpose. Sometimes we just have to wait for the right timing. When I talked about leaving my full-time corporate job in 2010, my husband did not want me to leave and I didn’t try to convince him otherwise. I knew that God was setting the stage for me to pursue another career, so I just kept making plans and waiting. It was less than a year later that my husband was totally supportive of me leaving and purusing my dream.
Have a Victorious Day!
Marianne Clements
Victory Christian Coaching
That’s awesome, Marianne! I’ll bet it was difficult to be patient and frustrating too. However, I’m sure you wouldn’t be half as successful as you are today if you had jumped before your husband was on board.
[…] 1. You’ll have fewer regrets. The path that is comfortable is going to be the path that is right in front of you, the one that has been laid out by circumstances and those around you. However, if you blindly coast down this path, you’re going to get to the end of your life with plenty of deathbed regrets. […]