God doesn’t owe me a thing

“My brother died a week ago,” I heard the man say. He was tall, square shouldered, and had glistening eyes.

“I was given the gift of 50 years with him. God doesn’t owe me a thing!” His comment was cutting, not with its sharpness, but with its conviction.

He went on to tell the story of his brothers’ long battle with cancer. With young kids and a wife at home, they were all hoping and praying he would recover.

But he didn’t. He died.

“At the end he looked like a person that had just stepped out of the Holocaust,” the man said. “But I got to hold him in my arms at the end; it was so special.”

I was stunned. When most people would focus on the deep, dark waters of loss, this man spoke of the joy within his loss.

“Sure, I will miss my brother like crazy, but I am not angry.” he stated. “I had 50 wonderful years with him; that was a gift.”

His words ricocheted in my head, “God doesn’t owe me a thing.” Joy amidst suffering is a rare sight and with neck strained I eagerly took in the full sight of this joy man.

Is this the way we view our troubles?

For most of us the answer is a resounding, “No!” We feel indebted, owed in some way. Not worthy of hurting. We feel undeserving of hardship and heartache. We despise it, and when it comes our way, we do our very best to tell everyone around us that it is hard, and it hurts, and we don’t understand why it is happening.

This man, however, took a different approach. An approach that has preoccupied my mind and heart as of late. It would have been normal and even expected for him to spout about the pain and question why this event happened. But he didn’t.

He spoke instead of joy.

Not just ordinary joy either. He spoke of joy in the midst of his suffering.

This man had weighed his options and had made his choice.

He chose joy.

I see very clearly now that there are two ways to view the hard things that happen in our lives. Either we can look upon them with an attitude of entitlement, raging against God and the injustice of it all, declaring that what happened wasn’t fair and shouldn’t have happened. Or, we can shift our focus to gratitude and choose to look for the blessings amidst the hurt. To look at what we were given instead of what we lost.

The former brings toxic anger and exasperation, the latter brings peace and joy. Peace and joy create a better life, period.

The fact is, things happen in our lives and not everything that happens makes sense or feels good. Some things we may never understand. But one thing is clear. The people that approach life with open arms and open heart, choosing to see the blessings even amidst the hurt, are the people who find joy.

And joy makes life enjoyable.

Photo Credit: nicola.albertini via Compfight cc