I have a picture of little me on my desk. I see me. The little me, and I wonder if I am who I thought I would be when I grew up?
I see sparkle in those eyes and I remember being proud of myself that day. I had my favorite teal dress on, it had lace on it and the skirt swirled wildly around my knees when I spun. I was excited about life, didn’t know not to be!
I know I have gained wisdom and experience as I have grown but I have also lost much of my spark and excitement for life. I used to imagine wonderful things; one of my favorite was imagining a horse running through an open field with me on it’s back. A horse all my own. Black and shiny, it’s long mane wrapping around and tickling my face as we flew along. I would laugh a wonderfully full and rippling laugh. Wow, that is exhilarating to think about even now.
So, my imagination, where has it gone? What about my ability to see beyond the here and now, to hope and smile at the beauty of life and imagine what it could be and how to get there? Now I tend to imagine all the bad things that could happen. Oh wait, I guess that’s worry.
But really, people, what about all our childhood dreams and zest for living? Why have we forsaken our childish ways in this area and replaced it with, well what? SUV’s and mortgage payments and living our lives vicariously through other people on TV? Seems like life could have a little bit more to offer!
What say you? What do your eyes say in your “little you” picture?
This really reminds me of Henry and the Great Society! Have you all read that?
We so often have dreams that seem huge, but that are so simple. The problem is that we let life “happen” and destroy our dreams. Excellent reminder, Claudia!
No Ryan, neither of us have read that book! One you would recommend?
Does little Skyler talk of his dreams when he grows up yet? 🙂
Not yet. 🙂 He’s pretty much just playing in the moment for now. I would highly recommend that book. I don’t know if it can be purchased in book form or not, but I’ve got a PDF version that I’ll email to you all.
sweet! Thanks Ryan!
Aww… I also remember that bright-eyed girl who drew magnificent pictures of horses and spun around in twirling skirts! Love it! I feel that I have always been a “dreamer” of sorts. When I was little, I dreamed of SO many things! Being a mom, falling in love, being a teacher, acting on a stage, living in the Wild West, figure-skating, serving the poor in Africa, being a writer! Sometimes my dreams still seem that broad! But over the years, I am learning to be more discerning… discerning of what dreams are God-inspired (or just ego-inspired)… what dreams would bring fulfillment and meaning… what dreams are realistic for the choices and circumstances I am in presently.
I attended a spiritual retreat last weekend on the very topic of discernment. I was very inspired by the woman’s wisdom, and I decided to buy her book. I would HIGHLY recommend it to anyone who, like me, is asking the question… “what’s next?” The book is Decision Making and Spiritual Discernment: The Sacred Art of Finding Your Way by Nancy L. Bieber. In her book, she identifies three strands that make up the discernment process: Willingness, Awareness, and Responsiveness. She also suggests some excellent exercises that help with self-awareness and learning how to be attentive to God’s Light.
I’m very excited to see where our journeys take us, Claudia! 🙂
Annette,
I think you have indeed always been a dreamer, that’s why we always had so much fun! 😉 I love that about you friend!
Looks like you have completed about 4 of those dreams already actually 5 (with your blog).
That retreat sounds really neat, was it through your church? I’m excited to hear of what you are learning through reading her book!
The what’s next question is huge and exciting and a bit scary. I see a wonderfully bright and influential future for you 🙂