While getting ready to pay for our groceries today, my son overzealously set some of our items on the counter before the woman in front of us was finished checking out. She immediately pushed our items out of the way so they wouldn’t mix with hers, and said “I can’t pay for those things, I’m not that generous!”
She then started digging through her purse and mumbling (I wasn’t sure whether to herself or me), “I would really like to be more generous but I can’t, the pocketbook only stretches so far you know!” Then she packed up her items and left.
Her comments got me thinking.
Does generosity actually have ANYTHING to do with the amount of money we make or how big our pocketbooks are? And which actually comes first, the money to be generous with or the decision to be generous in life and then the money?
This topic has always peaked my interest, here’s why:
For years Michael and I thought we couldn’t give money away because we didn’t have the extra money to give. The odd thing was, the day never came when we had the extra money. NEVER EVER. Hmmm.
At some point we decided to experiment, and change our strategy. We decided to give first before even looking whether we had “enough” to give or not.
Interestingly, once we started this approach, we always had enough left over after we gave first.
When this generosity decision started with our money, it seeped into the rest of our life and something very interesting started to happen. We became much happier and less worried about money. The more we chose generosity as a lifestyle (not just a financial choice) the more opportunities came our way. We also made more friends, made more money, and enjoyed what we had more.
What we found was this: generosity opens doors. It creates a place of trust where more generosity is reciprocated. It creates kindness, and openness, and respect. And we enjoyed living in our generous world much more than in our stingy world!
It just makes sense. Everyone wants to be generous to the person who is generous with them.
As I left the grocery store, I felt sad for the woman I had run into at the counter. Because when we decide not to choose generosity as a lifestyle/mindset, we miss out on the most rewarding parts of life! And if we think we need to have a full pocketbook before starting to give, the day will never come.
There is do doubt in my mind, the people who are the most generous also have the most fulfillment in life, the most friends, the most opportunities, the most money, the best health, the healthiest marriages, and the list goes on and on.
Generosity is a choice, a choice that we need to keep choosing. And it’s the best choice for a meaningful and full life.
What are your thoughts on generosity?
That’s funny Claudia – and I agree – if we wait to have “extra” money before we will be generous we will never do it. When we sold our restaurant and my husband was just subbing in the local school district to try and get on as a teacher – and we had a mortgage and 3 young kids and I wasn’t working outside the home – we decided to tithe on that small amount and God so honored that. We were never behind in our bills and he did get offered a permanent full-time teaching position. I have several times given annonymously to people even though my business wasn’t booming because I know you must sow seed to reap a harvest and because it makes me so happy to do it. Thanks for sharing this!
Your so welcome Ann! I love the story you shared and that you and your family have experienced the great joy of generosity!
Oh Claudia – I love this post. So, so true. Joanne is a big giver, always has been. I’ve learned a ton from her heart of giving, no matter what we had along the way. We decided years ago that we would not calculate a strict 10% but simply consider that we were stewards of everything we had and thus would just give whenever we felt right about it. We don’t keep track of what’s “deductible” but just give directly to the need. Lots of fun to not be shielded by some big organization that we hope is smarter than we are.
Dan,
Joanne was one of the main reasons I wrote this post! Her generosity to me over the past year and a half or so has filled my heart, and brought me to tears many times. Her generous and open spirit has truly redefined what generosity looks like for me, and this has deeply affected and changed me. She is one very special lady!
I can see / and have experienced how you guys are also creative with your giving, that makes it so very fun!
Love to you both!
Wonderful thoughts, Claudia! It’s so true that if we wait until “we have extra” that we’ll never give. Have you guys thought much about how to get your young ones involved in giving to others (other than just watching you and MIchael give)?
Great question Ryan! I’ve been thinking about this quite a bit recently too! One idea I had was to volunteer at a shelter (or somewhere similar) as a family, this would include making a meal and serving it as well. I know my sister’s kids enjoy doing Operation Christmas Child through Samaritan’s purse (they fill shoe boxes with school supplies and other things for children) …and my friends kids are very involved in supporting multiple children through Compassion International…
What have you guys tried? Would love to hear 😉
Hey Claudia, I apologize for the late reply. We’ve talked some about this, but haven’t really done much yet. Autumn is too young to realize what’s really going on, but Skyler is getting to the ideal age. We do try to talk to him a lot about how blessed we are, about how other kids don’t have things like plenty of food to eat, a nice warm shelter, loving parents, etc. I really like the idea of working at a shelter or something, but he may still be a bit young for that.
It’s really hot here in Austin during the summer, and we have a lot of homeless people so we’ve tried to start carrying large bottles of water with us when we go out. Skyler’s really good at helping us remember them, carrying them to the vehicle, etc. Even though it’s a really small thing, I think it’s good for him to see us helping others in small ways. It’s also an opportunity to talk to kids about the things that might have caused the homeless to get into that circumstance in the first place…although he’s probably still a bit young for those conversations.
If you guys come up with more ideas I’d love to hear them!
Hey Ryan,
I just listened to a great podcast by Jeff Goins and Lisa (the author he interviewed) talked about how they have set aside Monday nights as the night that they as a family open up their home, hearts, and hands to others. Their kids invite their friends or they invite neighbors over and she always has intentional questions to ask during dinner. She said it has proven to be the most wonderful habit that they have established as a family. It helps them each week to refocus outward instead of always inward with schedules etc. I loved the idea!
That actually sounds pretty neat! Do you have a link to the podcast by chance?
Yes, here it is Ryan!
http://goinswriter.com/best-yes/
Thanks, Claudia!
Claudia, you are so kind. And this blog definitely touches my heart. I so believe this philosophy. I learned long ago that I wanted to treat others as I want to be treated and that can’t be done without being very generous of spirit. It has nothing to do with money. It has everything to do with the heart. An excellent blog and one that ought to go viral!
Joanne,
I am a wonderfully blessed recipient of the “generous of spirit” lesson you learned long ago, and it has TRULY changed my life!!! 😉 Thanks for continuing to live it out! Love you dear friend!
Beautiful insights, Claudi! Thanks for this reminder!
Sure thing Annette! See you soon friend!!! 🙂
Claudia Good
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Thank you. You are absolutely right in this area. I had started to become that woman. I had forgotten what got us through, The LORD, sharing, giving, love for others and not of others, kindness and gentleness, especially forgiveness (because I probably would have shot off something like “I didn’t ask for your money or your help” or worse, “Lady I don’t need or want your money.” to that woman as a in my current state. How horrid. I needed this article to straighten me and my falling mind set up! Thank you! This one I am going to keep with me.
Your so welcome Adele! Thanks for your comment. I’m so glad you found this encouraging!!! Joy to you!