For months, I have been pondering what responsibility looks like when it comes to a job. It seems the idea of what is and isn’t responsible in this area is gray to most.
photo by Sander van der Wel
Some view responsibility as staying in a job for years that is unfulfilling and life sucking, just for a steady source of income for their families.
I don’t think we have been created with such splendidly specific gifts to just trudge through life and work this way. People often end up putting their best on a shelf, only to be brought down in the last few years of their lives. Their dreams are stashed away and only brought out on weekends or the two weeks of vacation they get per year.
I question whether this is actually responsible. How can it be when we have been given passions and desires for a reason?
How can our health and our relationships with our families not suffer when we are stifling that which is constantly crying out for fulfillment?
Therefore, responsible, what do you look like? Are you glazed over eyes and a shell of a person putting their time in for the supposed stability it offers? Or, are you passionate, throw all caution to the wind, and bowl everyone over in the process?
Perhaps you are not either one of these.
I think responsibility would look more like the following if we thought long and hard about it.
What responsibility really looks like
– Husbands and wives working together to support and encourage one another as they pursue their best lives. Lives passionately lived. Lives full of dreams pursued and hearts full, for the song in each of them is being loudly sung.
– Men and women who have the courage to pursue that which brings life to their deepest places.
– Having clear goals and working towards them with steel determination.
– Taking life’s hardships and failures, learning from them and moving on. Using failure to reshape and improve upon today so we can be wiser for tomorrow.
– Pursuing the talents only I am gifted with. Sharpening them through constant learning. Strengthening them through experience and using them to help and bless others.
– Being a passionate giver of my resources and time.
– Seeing beyond the here and now. Using perspective to constantly realign, having vision for what could be, and pursuing it.
– Being my best self for my husband and for my family. The best person I can be. Constantly improving, changing, and learning throughout my entire life!
This, to me, is responsible. This is a life well lived.
“Security is mostly a superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.” ~Helen Keller
If you want further inspiration, read this post by Kevin Miller which covers another aspect of this concept. Failure. It spoke volumes to me.
Question: What is responsible to you?
Your post and Kevin’s were both really powerful and I’m not sure I could add a single thing to your definition.
Thanks Ann!
Wasn’t Kevin’s post awesome? He is a great writer!
I love this post Claudia. I do think husbands and wives need to be on the same page as best they can be when it comes to the goals for their lives. Sometimes we do have to look at where we are now and where we want to be and then agree on the best way to get there. It’s not always easy but well worth it. If we are honest with each other, we learn more about the other person and what’s important to them. All in all it makes for a stronger marriage or relationship.
Agreed Donna,
It totally makes for a stronger marriage! And I think you made a good point that it is not always easy, but well worth it!
How is the moving goal coming along?
Claudia,
My husband and I have discussed this at length and since finding a job there for both of us at this time has been impossible to find, we have decided to just stay put for now. We have adjusted the dream to save as much as we can now and move once I retire in about 4-5 years. It’s not what I wanted initially but after much prayer and actually writting down the pros and cons to the situation, it all came down to this answer. So for now, we are planning toward that new goal timeframe. I plan in the mean time to continue to build my vintage business as much as I can. Since I am a goal setter, I am now moving on to goals I can acheive now and over the next year. Thanks for asking Claudia. I really appreciate you guys and your support.
Donna
Sure Donna!
Well, I’m so glad you have been able to come to an agreed decision! That brings such peace and unity. Blessings as you push forward 🙂
I think that once you find your heart is beating to a different drummer, it’s your responsibility to yourself and family to investigate. Otherwise, you’ll end up miserable and not easy to be around! There are no guarantees with a J-O-B or with your own business, but if that is where your heart lights up – follow it! I think God intended some to have “jobs”, some to have “businesses” as well. It may just be that we all end up as contractors (Me, Inc.) even in typical corporate jobs anyways with the changing economic model. It might force others to be more “responsible” in a sense.
Hmmm you have a good point there Michael.
When were you able to transition to working from home with your job? Has that been a good transition for you and your family?
Claudia, I transitioned from driving back and forth to work to working from home about the time my daughter was born, so about 6 1/2 years ago. I remember listed out the pros and cons for driving to work vs. staying at home for my boss and they were both the same on each list! It can be challenging, but it really, really was a huge necessity given my wife’s health conditions and my daughter being diagnosed with autism – lots of appointments and flexibility req’d – I just thank God that He orchestrated it because I didn’t exactly asked for that option. I was asked by my boss if I wanted to do it. The main problem is that it can be hard to cut the work “off”, when I spend a good deal of time on the phone and I get calls ringing to my 2nd line at home. All in all, it’s a huge plus!
Responsibility is what we make it to be. We choose where to invest our priorities… What comes first is either directed from the conditions and social patterns we’re accustomed to, or it comes from within as a driven spring of passion towards living with deeper meaning.
I hope that all of mine come from the latter. I prefer to say that its responsible to live deeply, to live with passion, to live not by other’s expectations but by our own desires to come alive and be free and happy…. Bottom line 🙂 Great post!
Thanks Rob!
I guess you would have experienced this first hand when you changed careers and have gone out on your own. You have pursued living deeper and not by other’s expectations. I see the life in your eyes because of it!