Today Michael and I had an interesting conversation. It was about silence. And no, we didn’t just sit there in silence and stare into one anothers eyes. We talked and there were wonderful, thoughtful pauses between our words, silence.
by D.J Kaufman
A good conversation ebbs and flows like the tide. It has health and healing entwined deep within it.
It is peaceful, you know, a little silence. It settles comfortability on your mind and gives it room to breathe.
We talked of silence and realized it is a missing link in most conversations. We hurry, pushing our own words into every crack and crevice available.
Conversations therefore often become rigid, almost brittle. The two conversants almost throwing up in each others laps but neither caring or hearing what the other is actually saying.
We are distracted and silence feels awkward. But when tried on and practiced, it is like a favorite tee shirt, soft, comforting, and incredibly breathable.
Sometimes silence speaks louder in our own minds than words. It is often in those times that inspiration and revelation come. In those still moments, our minds lay to rest the scattered frantic thoughts and open to a deeper place of calm clarity.
Therefore, we were reminded not only of the importance of, but the necessity of silence in conversation
Putting to use the skill of listening and letting silence infuse a conversation so the real words can come out, the necessary words. Not the cheap, easily forgotten ones. They flap around like minnows in pools of draining water.
No, skilled silence brings out the deep words, the words that need to be heard. It lures them from the depths and calls them to burst forth.
Some would say that silence is golden. I would tend to agree.
I am going to practice a little more listening, a little more silence and see where it takes me. I am anticipating to the heights and beyond!
Question: Have you ever experimented with silence in your conversations? How did it go?
I agree – and I will definitely pay more attention and intentionally listen more and be quiet. I certainly do that when talking to clients and I think when we speak to our family and friends sometimes we are so anxious to get our “piece” said – we neglect this art. And it’s definitely an art. Thanks for the reminder and have a safe and wonderful 4th!
Haha yes, I agree Ann 🙂 I can see you definitely having a wonderful listening ear!
Happy 4th to you as well!!!
I like very much these words: “Sometimes silence speaks louder in our own minds than words. It is often in those times that inspiration and revelation come.”
I’ve been thinking a lot about silence lately. I wrote a blog post about it and the second part will be published tomorrow. Silence is mostly overlooked these days. We are bombarded with noise. As such, our minds have no room to allow thoughts to come in, we close ourselves off from hearing God speak, and our own personal growth is stunted.
A good word today!
Thomas,
Thanks!
Cool, that you have been pondering silence as well. It really does wonders in clearing the cobwebs, so the important words can come through! And I agree, we are bombarded with noise, and distractions. They are all vying for our time and attention… silence brings back the peace and calm that are so often overlooked.
Blessings to you today!
Unfortunately, I think that people feel uncomfortable when there is a long pause. Yet, in my case, I use silence to gather my thoughts before I speak. I know, it’s an introverted thing to do. But, I would rather contribute in a meaningful way rather than spit out any old words. Silence is definitely underrated in our ADHD world.
Chris,
Yes, I would think you are probably a great listener! It’s that wonderful “C” coming out ;)I am definitely guilty of filling the space with chatter and I regret it later because I say things I wish I hadn’t. Silence in conversation has brought great freedom and wonderful deep conversations b/c I don’t always jump in to finish other people’s thoughts 🙂
Pauses in music are a wonderful thing – it brings much anticipation for the next verse, but in conversations it’s a battle for who can stay on that. I’ve always been very conscientious about silence in my conversations with others through the years until recently realizing that it really is OK with my introverted wiring. I can always improve my listening though – you can ask my wife! My mind will tend to daydream when people chat with me and I’ll have to really focus on what they’re saying – even when I’m “silent” my mind is still racing.
Ohhh great analogy Michael,
I like the thought of life and conversations being like a great score of music and the silence building anticipation. Very insightful.
Hahaa, the wandering mind huh? Our minds are amazingly fast and go so much faster than the speed someone talks. It really can be a challenge to stay focused and listen well.