Recently, I recognized something in my own life that needs to change. It’s something that I’ve been aware of for quite some time now, but I haven’t really done anything about. Claudia’s been aware of it too as it directly involves her.
photo by rzrxtion (pronounced resurrection)
It’s one of those areas of life that I know needs to get better and I say I’m going to work on improving it, however no real action has been taken.
Have you ever wanted to change something, but the only way you can think to change it isn’t working? You keep trying the same thing over and over thinking somehow you’re going to get different results.
That’s what I found myself doing. And that’s crap! What the heck was I thinking?
Here is the situation as I understand it and my plan of action.
Why I haven’t changed yet
1. It’s safe where I’m at now. Working on improving this area of life will require me to be vulnerable at a new level, and that’s scary!
2. Old ways of thinking die-hard. When you’re trying to change the way you view an area of life, it can be difficult to break it down and see tangible progress. Thoughts are tricky and harder to catch than, say, junk food going into your mouth.
3. It feels like a lot of work. This is a really lame excuse. This simply means that I am not seeing beyond the present. I’m not seeing how my life would be better if I actually confronted this area and got it right. Wow, imagine how life would be then!
What I’m going to do about it
1. Read I know from experience, the best way to learn something new whether it’s a new way of thinking or how to wire an outlet, is to read. Learn from others who are already doing what you want to do. It’ll get you out of your own head.
2. Talk I’m going to talk with Claudia about what I’m learning in this area. I know if I explain something to someone else, it will help me process and understand it better. Plus, it’ll help us connect and generally be more on the same page.
3. Confront the situation No more excuses! I’m going to tackle this thing head on. While reading and talking are good and necessary, I have to act. Real world experience is one of the best teachers.
Question: Do you have an area of life you want to change? What are some of your excuses and how would your life be better if you really confronted this area, for real this time?
I love your candor here, Michael! I couldn’t agree more with you with what you’re saying. As one who has tried to do things over and over, only to get the same results, I hear your lament loudly and clearly.
I have several things I want to change, some of which I’ve just implemented, some of which will take real work and effort. My primary mode of operation is denial. Denying things never allows them to see the light of day for improvement. Sometimes things stay the same; other times things become worse. Only by dealing with things can anything get better.
I wish you success in your plan of action! I would love to hear more details and how you attack these areas of personal growth in future blog posts. Continue to be an inspiration for us!
Thanks, Thomas! Isn’t it funny how we tell ourselves these excuses to let ourselves off the hook, so to speak?
Those excuses have been holding me back from living my best life.
Couldn’t agree with you more. Only by dealing with things can anything get better.
You are always so honest, Michael. I relate to everything you say – the excuses and the best ways to approach changing! Familiarity breeds contempt is a well known platitude – but how true! We so often just stick with what is familiar and comfortable and then wish things were better! We are funny beings, aren’t we? To change anything I find your steps to be right on. I always need to see something in writing and to take my time processing it. While I enjoy CD teaching and podcasts – reading it and going over it repeatedly really helps me “get it.” Telling someone else about it is HUGE! That’s something I absolutely find critical in getting it from “head knowledge” to something I make my own. In answer to your question – definitely there are areas I want (and need) to change – and I am taking the steps you are talking about right now in order to do it!
Ann, thanks for your input and encouragement!
Agreed. We are funny beings! That comfortable familiarity whats to win out. Not sure why we fall for it so often.
Glad to hear that you’re taking an active approach to the areas you want change. Keep it up!
I’ve been thinking about “systems” a lot lately – how where you’re at identifies the system you’ve been using. Finding out where you want to go, accomplish and do and break it down into sub-systems. These are your tiny steps which in and of themselves seem small and insignificant, yet very do-able. A term I just learned of in looking at myself and my work is to take an “outside and slightly elevated” view. To get outside of myself, hover over and look down and see what is really going on that is breaking the system and not making it work. It may be fear, insecurity or perceptions, but all things that can be overcome, especially when viewed a little bit impersonally as “mechanical” if you will.
As always, I wish you the best in your en-devours, Michael!
Thanks, Michael! I appreciate that.
I like that approach of outside and slightly elevated. I think that’d really help me with if I did that more often. I guess think of myself as my own coaching client. 🙂
Way to be honest, Michael… I have certain things that I’ve seemed to put secondary on my priority list but I know need to change.
My excuses are usually revolved around not wanting to sacrifice the time and energy for it when I have these things to work on over here (it takes extra work!), and I think I fear sabotaging other efforts sometimes, so whenever I want to change something I have to be intentional and make sure it’s on my radar, otherwise it will never happen. But now that I think about it, if I didn’t have the secondary items looming in my background, I would be at a different level of peace. Thanks for the encouragement, this really helps me.
Sure thing, Rob. I think it’s making the shift from secondary to priority that can be difficult. But, it needs to be done sometimes. That’s what I realized when this issue kept coming up again and again. I guess it’s a realignment of priorities.
I think you’re right. Re-aligning priorities refreshes the game!
[…] Not Putting Up With The Crap Anymore […]
Steve and I are have been battling with the issue of his shoulder over the past couple of years. It holds him back from competing in the swim portion of triathlons, and lately, it has affected his quality of life with normal, everyday tasks.
Out of necessity, he’s been just dealing with the pain. Obviously, he needs his shoulder to perform his physical therapy duties, so the probable surgery and period of rehab was just not financially doable, especially if the rehab is up to six months.
We thought short-term disability insurance would be a solution, but since this is an issue that goes back five years, we recently found out that he doesn’t qualify. Now that he’s our only source of income, we find ourselves in a situation. Nonetheless, we went ahead and got the x-ray. The MRI and surgical consult will come on 10/9. We decided that we need to know what we’re dealing with, so we can make a decision on how to move forward.
Jody,
I’m sorry to hear that about the insurance! Originally you were planning on have the surgery this December, is that right?
Is it the disability insurance issue that changed that?
Assuming that the MRI shows a need for surgery, Steve will try to schedule it for as soon as this placement wraps up in early December. His insurance will last for 30 days after the placement ends. We were hoping that the disability insurance would pick up after 30 days, but it looks like we will need to rely on whatever savings we can amass between now and then to carry us through the rehab period since he can’t get professional short-term disability.
OK, we’ll keep you guys in our prayers. Let us know what you learn on 10/9.