Wholehearted Human

Here is something I find fascinating: we are taught not to fly too low (better to get A’s than C’s, better a job we hate that pays well, than a job that doesn’t pay well) but it also seems we are taught (and fiercely determined) not to fly too high as well. Whether it comes from our own heads, or from the circles we revolve in, flying too high can feel as looked down upon as too low.

It seems we want somewhere in the middle where we know we won’t get hurt, won’t face any resistance, judgement, or challenges. A place where our genius (that thing inside each of us that only we can offer to the world) will be seen by some people, but not too many people.

Not too high, not too low – AHHHHH.

So, we say all sorts of things like, “The timing just isn’t right.”

(I’m starting to wonder if, “the timing just isn’t right,” actually means we are too afraid to try and bring our true genius to life.)

I’ve decided flying right in the middle (not too high or too low) is the perfect way to keep our lives small. We keep our genius hidden, we bounce around right in the middle and society approves because, after all, at least we aren’t flying too low.

Standing out, deciding what we want, moving towards BIG dreams, or having our genius seen all feel wildly scary.

But what if the high, the limits, the hard road of exploring our dreams and our genius is where we are truly born? What if this is the exact place where our human creativity and ingenuity are actually used at the level they were created to be used (and used for something impactful and helpful)!?

What if the most magical parts of being human come to life when we see how high we can fly?

I’ve been facing a lot of fear and shame lately. Mainly, because I’ve been trying new things (and by now I’ve seen a pattern, every time I try something new, I face both) but also because fear and shame come out in almost every conversation I have with people about living courageously.

Our lives are driven by the duo waaaaaay more than we’d like to admit.

One of the main side effects of fear and shame is the temptation to stay small, fly under the radar, don’t make too much ruckus, stay within our sphere of expected. Because, if we step into courage and let ourselves be seen by being extraordinary, we will get pushback, a raised eyebrow, and criticism (the voices often sound like this, “Who do you think you are!?” “You’re not smart enough to do that.” “You don’t have a degree in ____________.” “It might not work, and you should only do it if it’s going to work.”).

These voices (whether said by us or someone else) scare us – scare isn’t really a strong enough word here, terrify is better.

So small feels safer, and so it is.

The problem with small, however, is that it makes us resentful, hateful, and bitter because we are not living our best lives, or tapping into our genius, and we know it.

So, what’s left!?

This…

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”      

~Theodore Roosevelt

While tucking my son into bed recently, I asked him if he had any new plans for when he grows up (it’s been on his 3 year old mind a lot lately!). His super enthusiastic response was, “I’m gonna do EVERYTHING mom!!!” (he’s got the striped sunglasses in the above picture 😉 )

Three year olds are great at dreaming and NOT putting any restrictions on what is possible right? Most adults, however, not so great.

It’s weird. Ask a child what they are going to be when they grow up and they can’t stop spewing answers like, “I’m gonna ride to the moon on my cheetah-horse-ocopter and eat PIZZA!!! Ask a kid in middle school and the answer becomes a bit more sluggish and looks more like, “I’m gonna be a doctor.” Ask a high school-er and you often hear crickets, or, “I dunno.”  …And have you ever walked up to an adult and asked them what their big dreams are, “Um, what are you talking about!!??”

So, where do all the dreams go between the ages of 3 and 18!!!???

It’s time to reclaim the dreams you set aside because they didn’t fit into a nice neat ‘expected’ box.

It’s time to Live BIG and Dream BIGGER!!!

P.S. If you’ve ever wondered if it is possible to accomplish dreams AND make money, this guy makes a living helping others combine the two! His message changed our lives!