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Are You The Parent You Want To Be?

February 2, 2012

Every parent parents. Every parent guides. Every parent loves. But, do we do it well? Do we do it with purpose and intention? Or do we just go the path of least resistance, put our parenting in cruise and just let days, weeks, years fly by with no specific goals? Do you know where you want to end up as a parent?

Michael and I, as you know have set out on a journey to set specific goals with our lives. We haven’t yet gone deep into our parenting goals, but have started to explore the territory. Tonight we listened to a teleseminar from Kent Julian called Parent it Forward. It was awesome and gave us a good kick in the butt to get our parenting goals clear and in order.

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Help For The Mom Brain

February 1, 2012

As a stay at home mom, I have suddenly encountered something that I never anticipated. I knew I might struggle with post pardom depression, adjusting to a new baby, and less time with Michael. But I did not expect or anticipate how much down time my brain would have.

Between holding baby Jude and changing diapers and naps and play time, I slowly feel my brain turning to mush. Don’t get me wrong, I am LOVING being a mom. But, how do I keep my mind actively learning and thinking positively during the constantness of caring for an infant?

Too often I find myself dropping into bed exhausted in every capacity. I haven’t been able  to refill my dangerously low tank of healthy snacks for my mind to munch and crunch on through the day. And when our tanks get low, we fall into unhealthy patterns of thinking and talking. This is when I find myself saying things I wish I hadn’t and dwelling on the negatives and the past.

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One Day To Decide, Should We Go Down To One Car?

January 30, 2012

Claudia and I have been thinking a lot about what’s really necessary in the wake of setting a goal to simplify. Now that Claudia is working only one day a week, we are deciding if we want to go down to one car. Rather than endlessly discussing it, we set a decision deadline. That deadline is now one day away!

It’s a difficult decision. Plus, it gets complicated with “what if’s” and emotions. To help us decide, I’ve listed the pros and cons for going down to one car.

The Pros:

  • save money on maintenance and insurance
  • only have to monitor one car’s registration and maintenance
  • only have one car to fill up with gas
  • only have one car that will be depreciating in value
  • selling one of the cars will give us some much-needed cashflow
  • spend more time together with carpooling and dropping each other off
  • we’ve been a one car household in the past

The Cons:

  • when I’m teaching, Claudia will left at home without a car
  • less flexibility with our scheduling
  • we’ll need to buy another car if things change in the future
  • less sense of security, e.g. being home without a car in the event of an emergency
  • we’ve never been a one car household with an infant
  • we won’t have a backup car if our car is in the garage
  • we’ll need to be adjusting the driver’s seat all the time (yes, I like the seat further forward than Claudia does)

As you can see, there are two sides to this decision, pros and cons for both. We have only one day left to decide.

If you were in our shoes, what would you do?

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How To Make People Like You

January 29, 2012

We all want to be influential. We all want people to remember us. We all want to make an impact on people’s lives. So how can we do this? Simple remember people’s names. Dale Carnegie in his book, How To Win Friends and Influence People, says, “Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.”

Recently someone I had JUST met called me by my name when leaving. It was AWESOME! With that one word it totally endeared me to that person in a way that nothing else would.

Andrew Carnegie was known for his ability to handle people and that is what made him rich. When he was a young boy, he rescued a mama rabbit. Soon the rabbit had babies and he needed help caring for them. He rounded up some neighborhood kids and told them if they would collect clover and dandelions for the baby rabbits he would name the baby bunnies in their honor. It was a success! He realized the importance people place on their own names. They will go to great lengths to have something or someone named after them and he used this throughout his successful career. From museums to park benches, people want their name to be remembered. None of us wants to be forgotten.

I thought it would be helpful to lay out 4 tips (2 real life examples) to remember every person’s name that you ever meet. Trust me, I am preaching to myself here as well!

1. Napoleon The Third, Emperor of France, boasted he could remember the name of every person he met in spite of all his royal duties. During a conversation, he associated their name with their appearance, features, and expressions and made an effort to use the person’s name multiple times.  If it was someone of importance, later he would write down the name, concentrate on it, and repeat it several times. This way he was seeing it as well as hearing it.

2. Commit to learning a person’s name. Many times we just simply don’t place importance upon learning someone’s name and therefore we don’t take the time to do it. I remember often saying, “I am so bad at remembering names.” But, I never took the time to learn how to be better. Commit to learning a person’s name. It will get easier.

3. Jim Farley helped put Franklin D. Roosevelt in the White House. How did an uneducated brickmaker get to this spot? He had an uncanny gift for remembering people’s names. He did this by asking their complete name, some facts about their family, interests and occupation. He could then ask about their rose garden or some other detail about their lives if he met that person a year later!

4. Concentrate on the person’s name when they say it! For me, this has been a struggle. When someone says their name, I am already thinking about what I will say next. Their name goes in one ear and out the other.

There is magic in a name. It is what sets each of us apart. And if we take the time to use someones name we could do amazing things. Like change the world perhaps?

Do you have any special methods by which you remember people’s names?

 

 

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3 Things That Can Derail Your Success While Self-Employed

January 26, 2012

Recently, Claudia and I were talking about how our shortcomings are magnified when self-employed. Now that I’ve started my own business, I can no longer rely on the structure of a job to push me through the day. If I’m not handling something well, it will derail my whole day.

This is something that I have to be very vigilant about or it creeps up on me nearly everyday. One of the ways I’m being proactive with this is by frequently going to the library to work. It clears my head to get out and move around rather than working at one place all day.

Here are three things you can no longer rely on when self-employed and the action I take to combat them:

1. Always knowing where your time and resources are best invested. Do I spend the afternoon working on my website or networking and getting new leads? Another area is marketing strategy. It’s up to me to decide to what extent I’m going to advertise verses network with key individuals. I can get so caught up in thinking about all the things I need to do that I end up getting nothing done.

I have found it most effective to make a list of my 3 top priorities. I then tackle the ONE I am dreading the most! I got this idea from Brian Tracy in his book, Eat That Frog. Once the hardest task is out of the way, I feel much better and can think clearly to tackle the next item on the list.

2. A schedule to get you back on track. If you have a job, the routine of the day guides you through the day even if you’re having a bad day. Not so when you are starting a business. There is no routine. If you get derailed, you alone have to figure out a way to get things back on track. And do it quickly before you get sucked too far down a negative spiral.

I have set hours that I work on a daily basis and this keeps me on track.

3. Someone else to inspire you. If you are working for a company, they have managers and leaders to keep you inspired and productive. If you are self-employed, you need to figure out how to refuel to stay motivated.

For me, I get inspired by reading books and my Bible and listening to great audio content. I need to do this daily to refocus my mind and keep it in a healthy place.

While each person may handle these three points differently, the common theme is to take action to keep yourself from getting derailed.

Whether you are self-employed or not, are there areas of your life that you need to take action on instead of relying on others?

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My Reasons Why

January 25, 2012

“There are two primary choices in life: to accept conditions as they exist, or accept the responsibility for changing them.” – Denis Waitley

I’m accepting the responsibility for changing them and these are my reasons why: