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Back Porch Dwellers

January 24, 2012

I had a neighbor stop by today just to see how I was doing and say, “Hi.” It meant the world to me! It was just a 15 minute conversation but it changed the course of my day. Of course, she didn’t have to do that. It took time and effort but she took action and we both benefited from this caring gesture. When you make someone else happy, it also warms your own heart.

We are such relational beings, we thrive on feeling supported, loved, and cheered on. I intend to do more of just that! Let’s come out from our “back porch dwelling” and invest in the lives of the people around us, shall we?

“Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art…. It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival.” C. S. Lewis

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5 Things I Wish I Knew 5 Years Ago

January 23, 2012

This month five years ago, I graduated from Temple University with an undergraduate degree in music education. I guess you could say it was a long time coming. I took a few years off after high school because I didn’t know what I wanted to do with my life and then took a year off halfway through when Claudia and I got married.

That person I was back then feels very different from the person I am today. Here are five things I wish I knew back then.

1. You won’t get far if you care so much about what others think.

Honestly, this is something I still battle and is the reason why Claudia and I started the IDC Project. It became so ingrained in me being raised conservative Mennonite where legalism was very prevalent. Too often in the past I’ve found myself complacently spinning in circles trying to do what was right and expected.

2. There’s a whole world out there, dream big!

When I graduated with my music education degree, I thought that was the one thing I had to do. I had to get a job teaching music in a school. I didn’t really think about whether or not it was what I really wanted in life, it was just the path I had chosen and was what I was going to do.

3. Reading would change my life.

I never knew to what extent someone could become a better person and change their life simply by reading and learning. I think before, I always associated reading with academia, not with personal application and something I enjoy. It was reading that changed my thinking; well, got me thinking.

4. If something is not working, change it up.

Too often the frustration of something not working clouded my head with this fog that immobilized me. I let that frustration fester thinking that things would turn around. They didn’t. I now am more proactive and take different angles. I get out and move around. Literally. This helps me be more optimistic and creative.

5. Starting a family is going to be the best thing that ever happened to you.

While there had been some good things leading up to starting a family like learning lots from great books and podcasts, it was when we found out that Claudia was pregnant that we really gained forward momentum. We started dreaming, thinking, planning, and talking more. And not only that, we started acting on those dreams and plans too.

What about you? Would do you wish you knew five years ago?

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Paddling Through The Middle

January 22, 2012

That’s what we are doing, paddling through the middle. This is the point in the middle of the lake when you can’t see either shore and you really can’t tell if you are going forward or backward. The water around you is swirling in such a way that you can’t make out your progress. You are paddling HARD, sweating, grunting, and groaning. All conversation has stopped. The lighthearted chatter that was present at the beginning of the trip has ceased and you are in the moment, not sure whether to enjoy yourself or begrudge what you have started. But there is no turning back because you are in it. In the middle.

I felt that middle in a way I had never felt it before when I labored to give birth to our 10 pound boulder of a baby boy. I was in the middle, and it was tough. The beginning shore was gone, the ending shore not in sight, and I was laboring in the middle.

So what do we do while in the middle to keep ourselves going? Actually, you don’t really have a choice as to whether to go on or not because life just does that for you with every tick of the clock. But rather, how do we not loose hope in the middle?

I remember looking up at Michael while in the throes of labor and saying, “Nothing lasts forever, right babe?” And he said, “Right, nothing lasts forever,” as he stroked my forehead with a cool cloth. And sure enough, it didn’t. It ended, as every middle does.

Honestly, I don’t like the middle. I don’t think any of us do. It is the place where the screams of frusteration come out, the gasps for air and the pounding of fists. It is the place where the mind seems to tell the body that what you are doing is impossible and you may as well give up. It is the place of discouragement, fear, and tears.

But there is also something memorable about the middle. Why do we go through something so very hard not knowing if we will make it out alive, only to come to the end and want to do it again? That middle, that place of tearing down, pushing and pulling with all you’ve got, it is raw, tumultious and unpredictable. But if you make it through, there is no better feeling. That’s why it is memorable. That is why we look back at our middles in life and often equate them with phrases like, “The best thing that ever happened to me,” “It changed my life.” We went through the middle and conquered it. We fought and won.

There is something deep down in each of us that longs to go through a middle just to see if we are strong enough, to see if we have what it takes. We dream of being put in the same category as the great conquers in our history. These people have depth and wisdom and haven’t always stayed on the safe shore.  

I personally long for the middles of life because I see the eyes of others who have gone through many middles and come out victorious. Their eyes shine like none I have ever seen. They look alive. They are alive.

We are in our middle and though we are grunting and groaning and at times banging our heads against the preverbal wall, life has truly never been better. Because just as with any other middle, this one too will end. We will reach the shore and will look back with gleaming eyes realizing all our paddling truly paid off. We left the safety of the shore, pushing our boat into the deep waters and have have become greater, stronger, wiser, and bolder. We are going through our middle and TRULY life has never been better.

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Help Save Two Children From Sex Slavery

January 20, 2012

We’d like to share a story with you

After weeks of waiting, Sarah’s door was kicked in. The note she scribbled to the investigator on a piece of currency which said, “Please rescue me,” finally got answered!

Sarah was originally found by a team of investigators in a brothel in South East Asia, several days after her virginity was sold. She was a scared fifteen year old girl in a foreign country.

She could not speak the local language, was kept under close watch, and had no access to a cell phone or any communication from the outside world. She had been slipped illegally across borders by a system of traffickers. It has become a global highway of modern day slaves.

Continue Reading

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Date Night Contest

January 19, 2012

We all know date night is healthy for your relationship with your spouse. However, doing this can be a challenge with the busyness of raising kids, working, and all the commitments we have.

I know for Claudia and me, we run out of creative things to do and therefore, don’t have a date night as often as we’d like. This contest is a way for you to give us some new ideas and a way for you to pick up a couple ideas as well.

The Contest:
We’re looking for creative low-cost (or no-cost) easy to plan dates.

The Prize:
We’ll be giving away a copy of the book “The Marriage You’ve Always Dreamed Of” by Dr. Greg Smalley and feature some of your ideas on Valentine’s Day, February 14.

To Enter:
Leave your date night ideas in the comments of this post.

Entry Deadline:
Saturday, February 11, 2012.

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Slaying Our Dragons

January 18, 2012

I have this fear, that lurks around all my corners. I face it every day. It is a fear of not reaching my true potential. Looking back at the end and regretting the life I lived. Along with this fear, that has the wonderful potential for life changing action, there is a dragon that slinks into my thoughts. And it paralyzes me more often than I would like to admit.

This dragon says things like, “You will never amount to anything, why even try.” “Look at your past attempts, you failed then and you will again, so it is better to just stay in the safe place of immobility, fear, indecision, doubt and depression.” “You can’t change those around you or your past, so why change yourself now. Who says it will secure a better or happier future?” “In fact, you will probably put all this work in and things might never change.” “You will be disappointed again.”

I constantly fight this dragon. Upon waking every morning, until I lay down each night. It plays with my mind, breathing fire down upon my efforts.

Every day I wonder how I could be writing a better story with my life. I feel this pull, like there is a caged animal inside me that wants to get out. And because I constantly have this fear that I am not writing the story I could be, instead of actually starting to write it, I listen to the dragon who tricks me into thinking I will never write a good story with my life, or at least not a very good one, and then I do nothing!

I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that each of us was created with a specific effect that we have on this world. It is usually something that we do that we can’t help but doing. For instance, I have this friend that has talked about helping the orphans in Africa since she was a little girl. She just has this huge driving desire in her constantly to be a voice for those that have no voice. I can see she has a special gift in this area, and I know she will use it to make huge impact on the world.

I am still working out what exactly my effect is and how I can use it to reach my true potential. I often feel like Seabiscuit in the movie. He was made to run against other horses constantly and loose. He lost his effect. I’ve run against my own horses in recent years and lost so many races for so long, I hardly know what it feels like to win anymore. I am having a hard time regaining my ground. I’ve fought one too many battles and the little light I have been able to muster up gets all to quickly snuffed out by the dragon of discouragement.

In the movie, Seabiscuit just needed someone to see that special effect in him and help flame it to life. Ever wish someone would do that to you? I do.

There is something that stirs in me when I watch that clip. I feel like Seabiscuit, and I’m getting there, getting my legs back under me and getting ready to RUN. Then, I stumble and fall, but recently it’s different, I get up again. I am slowly but surely slaying my dragon of discouragement, fear and immobility. I am slaying it by taking action. Instead of sitting idly worrying about not living up to my potential, I am exploring what that given God potential is. I take action. I read, I study how the warriors of the past fought, I listen, I pray, I talk and I am making changes. And with each action I take, I sink a dagger deep into the heart of the dragon I fear.

Slowly the dragon is dying, and I am starting to live again.

Do have any dragons that you face daily?

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Behind The Scenes Of Starting A Business

January 16, 2012

I’m in the third week of going full time with my business, Soundboard Music School. It’s been very exciting, but a bit of a whirlwind too. I’ve received lots of advice and encouragement from some good friends, a lot of which I met through Free Agent Academy.

Right now, my focus is on building my student base. My marketing strategy at the moment includes multiple avenues. I am working with some friends that are connected with my target market,  using Google AdWords, putting posters up at libraries and coffee shops, and Craigslist. I am also going to be offering free workshops in the community in the coming weeks.

Even though I hadn’t quite hit my projections by my launch date, I’ve made some encouraging progress since. This week, I have a new student starting and had four more inquiries. Also, the traffic on my site has picked up.

This is only my third week and it’s been quite a roller coaster ride already! There are so many things that I want to do for the business, it’s been challenging to know where my time is going to be best used.

However, I love the benefits! I no longer have an hour-plus commute to and from work. My son no longer looks at me as a stranger and I get to eat lunch each day with my wife. Amazing. I am truly blessed!

This is the start of my journey as an entrepreneur.

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Don’t forget to vote for an upcoming IDC Project!

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I See

January 15, 2012

I have a picture of little me on my desk. I see me. The little me, and I wonder if I am who I thought I would be when I grew up?

I see sparkle in those eyes and I remember being proud of myself that day. I had my favorite teal dress on, it had lace on it and the skirt swirled wildly around my knees when I spun. I was excited about life, didn’t know not to be!

I know I have gained wisdom and experience as I have grown but I have also lost much of my spark and excitement for life. I used to imagine wonderful things; one of my favorite was imagining a horse running through an open field with me on it’s back. A horse all my own. Black and shiny, it’s long mane wrapping around and tickling my face as we flew along. I would laugh a wonderfully full and rippling laugh. Wow, that is exhilarating to think about even now.

So, my imagination, where has it gone? What about my ability to see beyond the here and now, to hope and smile at the beauty of life and imagine what it could be and how to get there? Now I tend to imagine all the bad things that could happen. Oh wait, I guess that’s worry.

But really, people, what about all our childhood dreams and zest for living? Why have we forsaken our childish ways in this area and replaced it with, well what? SUV’s and mortgage payments and living our lives vicariously through other people on TV? Seems like life could have a little bit more to offer!

What say you? What do your eyes say in your “little you” picture?

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