Resolving conflict.
This has kept me awake on multiple occasions for too many years. Why do we put this type of stuff off? Push it away, try to forget about it? It sits there in the back of your mind every minute of every day.
You try to tell yourself it isn’t a big deal, but it is. It is there and it eats away at your peace of mind. It’s like a constant drip of a faucet or a big exam you need to study for and keep putting off.
This past week I addressed a conflict/misunderstanding that has been at the forefront of my heart and mind for years. And do you know what happened? The words came out, “I am sorry, can we start over?” And it felt like a dam was broken. It was wonderful!
Why hadn’t I done it years ago? Maybe I didn’t want to… I didn’t know how to… I really don’t know.
It was like I knew I should, and I knew I would, but I just didn’t. For years I didn’t, and for years I hurt.
How very deep some hurts go. Too deep. But I have found the beginning of healing and forgiveness, and how wonderful it is!
Do you have any unresolved conflict/misunderstandings/hurts? Something that plagues your heart and spirit? Something you know, that you know, that you know, needs to be resolved and you just keep putting it off?
May I humbly offer that having been both places… life is much, much brighter over here. On this side, the side of letting go, extending forgiveness and finding beautiful life-giving healing.
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Doesn’t addressing difficult situations suck?! I know I think so.
However, it can frequently be one of the most important steps we take. I had a situation years ago where I held a TON, and I MEAN A TON!!!!!!!, of resentment and hatred towards someone. It made me angry and bitter for 2 or 3 years.
Finally, I realized I was only hurting myself. So I called the person. We hung out. I said why I was angry and bitter, admitted that I was wrong for holding those feelings so tight, and that I forgave everything.
The two of us didn’t become close friends again, but we can be socialable and releasing all of that has helped me in ways I can’t explain. It was very necessary.
It was very uncomfortable.
So glad I stood up and did what needed to be done.
Proud of you.
~Ivan
I hear ya Ivan!
Why do we dislike it so much though? I guess because we always want to go the path of least resistance and pain.
But angry and bitter is no way to go through life! The more I face these things the easier it gets because it feels so good to have them resolved! 🙂
Josh and I are taking a class on “Conflict” right now. It’s interesting because I have mixed feelings on Conflict. I used to not want it in my life at all because it’s uncomfortable, draining, etc. but now that I am listening to “A Million Miles in a Thousand Years” by Don Miller … I don’t fully WELCOME the conflict, but I am more okay with it. 🙂
Something that was brought up in the class that caught my attention is that if you run away from conflict with someone, you communicate (consciously or subconsciously) that they are not worth your time or effort.
I figure if I just keep talking and typing, I can override any voices that are beginning to pop up and remind me who I need to resolve issues with. 😉
Ohhh Alana, the class sounds interesting! I like!
Ya, I loved that book, and I am realizing conflict is just going to be a part of life and being able to work through it healthfully is key!
And, yeah, I just tried to “talk and type” also for many, many years to drown out the voices… but it didn’t work 😉
Words of wisdom, pretty lady.
🙂 you bless me – indeed!
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