Starting a business together – What has worked and what hasn’t

Starting a business together can be a great way to put a lot of strain on a marriage. The combination of marriage and business doesn’t work for everyone, we recognize this. But for us, it has been awesome!

Here are some things that have worked and have not worked for us along the way.

What has worked

1. Considering it a joint-venture

Michael and I consider all our ventures a joint effort. We approach all our projects as a team. Therefore, if it fails, it is not the fault of one. We risk together and we succeed or fail together.

However, although we plan and decide on projects together, we each have our own projects to work on. It is kind of like a team huddle and then we each go out and do our own thing. It has given us some distance within the sphere of doing business together.

2. Both getting our hands dirty

We view our income as a mutual responsibility. Therefore, we both contribute. This takes away the temptation to point fingers and fault-find. It also makes us both willing to jump in and get our hands dirty. We do what we need to do to make the money we need to make – together.

3. Brainstorming together

Brainstorming together is often our most productive time. Often I generate ideas and Michael goes about laying out the plan for what the idea could/will actually look like. This process has worked for us time and time again.

(By the way, we used the DISC Personality Profile and the Strengthsfinder tests to pinpoint each of our strengths.)

4. Reading

It has been said reading is the equivalent of thinking in someone else’s head. So we figure, why not get into a bunch of people’s heads whom we admire and respect?

We will often read books together (subjects ranging from personal development and business to marriage and spirituality) and then talk about them. It is a wonderful thing to read a fascinating book and then be able to discuss it with someone! You learn twice as much!

5. Scheduling time together

When you own your own business, the boundary lines between work hours and off hours can become blurry. We learned very quickly that we need to schedule time together or other things fill the time.

We eat breakfast together, have a date night weekly, and schedule walks together. These times are so necessary to the health of our marriage.

6. Quick decision making

We used to spend years making decisions, or shall we say, not making them? 😉 Gradually we have made the switch to making quick decisions and it is so refreshing! It keeps us moving forward at a healthy speed.

Recently we have had to make some very hard and fast decisions while looking for creative ways to make some extra income. We have learned to set deadlines (a week or two for bigger decisions and a couple days for smaller ones) It has helped so much!

7. Saying thank you  

Being thanked for the work you do is a wonderful feeling! We had new life breathed into our marriage when we started to thank each other on a regular basis. “Thank you for working for us today,” “Thank you for making dinner for us,” “Thank you for taking such great care of our son.”

Gratitude brings life!

What has not worked

1. Working in the same space 

Working in the same space did not work at all for us. We work best when we each have our own space – and both spaces have doors. Yup. As much as we love each other, it is a wonderful thing to go into our own spaces and close the door, ahhhhh!

2. Underestimating how long projects will take

We have found ourselves constantly underestimating how long projects take. It is dawning on us that projects usually take about three times as long as we anticipate them taking!

3. Questioning whether we are working enough/working on the right thing

This line can act like a chess piece moving all across the board at times. What is enough? How do we know if we are doing enough?

When you are self employed, you no longer have set hours or a boss that is telling you what to do or how much time to spend on a certain project. You are your own worst enemy if you don’t know how manage your time and when to stop working. This we have learned the hard way. Many, many late nights later, we now have much stricter boundaries.

4. Negative attitudes at breakfast

Our attitudes play a major role in whether we have an enjoyable day or not. Recently we found ourselves having negative attitudes at breakfast. Blah! It would often send the whole first half of our day into a downward spiral of negativity. We are now working on safeguarding this precious time by choosing to point out things we are grateful for. When we do this, the fear and negativity disperse, the joy returns.

How we begin sets the stage for the day ahead.

Overarching lesson learned

Enjoy the process

We have pounded many virtual fists against walls fighting against this concept. Slowly we are grasping it. We realized the only alternative is to not enjoy the process and that would entail not enjoying huge blocks of our life.

So, how did we start enjoying the process? We decided to start being thankful for everything, even for the challenges.

“The heights of our joy are measureed by the depths of our gratitude.” -Ann Voskamp

Comment below, I would love to hear your thoughts on this topic!