The light is a gift; but the local color can only be seen by the one who looks for it long and steadily. ~Henry Van Dyke
Sometimes the road ahead is blocked, at least the sight of it. It is blocked by boulders. They loom, seemingly unmovable and gray. Steel gray.
I think the gray part is the worst of all. Though I love the color on my walls, I don’t like what it represents in my life.
I wear gray often. I dress my child in gray. The color on the side of this blog is gray. I really like it.
But, I loathe gray in my life.
I think guilt is the color gray. As is indecision, pushing off responsibility, lack of courage, failure to change, and depression.
Gray is crap.
Gray says, “I should have. I wish I would have. I am afraid I won’t do it right so I won’t do it at all. I can’t please everyone so I won’t try anything.”
These are all gray and gray will drag you down to the depths.
In fact, gray can’t even make up it’s mind as to whether it is spelled grey or gray. Either one will do.
Gray sits there. It doesn’t stand out like black or white do. It blends in and covers you in an almost imperceptible blanket. And when you are covered, no one sees you. It is a barren, lonely land. You won’t get hurt, but you won’t get love either.
Gray is semi-transparent, not fully see through, but not completely cloudy. It looks like a fish bowl that needs to be cleaned.
What it does do, however, is captivate, capture, dictate, and immobilize. It says things like, “You failed in the past, so you will fail in the future too.” “Who do you think you are, just because he did that doesn’t mean you can!”
Living gray will dry up your motivation and leave you looking as lifeless as the dead sea. (You might want to tweet that!)
I am a former gray-ian. (I just made up that word, but who cares?)
But no longer! Gray has been kicked to the curb along with all of its lies! And, man does it feel great to be alive again!
The crazy thing is that gray is easily dismissed. You can walk through it and it moves, just like mist at dusk. It can even be blown out of the way.
You see, gray is a coward; it only acts brave. But when confronted, gray shrivels up and shrieks like a baby bird.
Action dismisses gray. Reading and learning slay it dead. Change, goals, and making dreams a reality peel it away and leave it rotting on the ground.
Vision, hope, and thankfulness vaporize gray. Forgiveness stops it dead in it’s tracks, especially forgiving yourself.
I left gray on the roadside a year and a half ago. It is still there looking for a new owner.
Question: Have you ever struggled with gray? How did you defeat it?
I agree, I hate gray. I think sometimes I may make a decision that wasn’t the best at the time, but it’s only because I hate indecision. I hate being on the fence. I hate to feel immobile. I love to move, to feel I’m making a difference in myself, others and in the world. In fact, that’s my prayer everyday that I can make a difference today! You and Michael are certainly doing that.
Thank you Donna!
I agree with you! They say your first is usually your best decision and better than no decision at all!
Keep moving, pushing forward, not remaining stagnant. It brings new life… like a stream of water always moving and collecting nutrients and oxygen…
If making a difference is your prayer every day than your mind will find ways to do it! Blessings to you sister!
You are a writer, my friend. I love the poetry in your prose!
Well thank you Annette! I indeed am! 🙂 I love words!
Beautifully expressed, Claudia, as always! I agree – gray is so nondescript – so mediocre! My family room walls are gray and I love how it brings out the blue in the carpet and couch – but I definitely don’t want gray to describe my life! My favorite color is any shade of purple – so I am shooting for a purple/violet/lavender life instead!
Thanks Ann!
I do love gray on walls as well… I actually have it in my kitchen. I like it! Royalty and prosperity are associated with purple. And it is apparently known to stimulate problem solving in the brain 🙂 (I just looked here cause this was a cool post on colors http://dustn.tv/what-colors-communicate/ )
Thanks for sharing that Claudia! I knew purple was associated with royalty but never knew about stimulating problem solving. I was happy to see that Orange (the color on my newsletter) was a good one and not so easily overused! You are wonderful for taking the time to share the link! I bookmarked it!
no prob Ann! I love his site 🙂
This is a delicious post. Wowsers. The visualization was poignant and inspiring! Out with Grey! (though, like you I utilize the color often. it is one of my favorite colors….:) )
Thanks much Angel! I love that you used delicious in your first sentence! It made me smile 🙂
Ann used the word “mediocre”, which is a word that I never want people to say about me. It’s gray, unfulfilling and lifeless. I can fall into “gray” patterns from time to time when I perceive the gray clouds of circumstance surrounding me. At this point in my life though, I’ve realized that all I have to do is recognize it for what it is (a feeling) and “Keep Calm and Carry On” as they say.
A question I like to ask myself when I get this way is “So, how is that going to work out for me?” The answer is never a good one, so I walk out of the gray and into some fresh air of color.
Indeed Michael, you make a great point. Recognize it for what it is (a feeling.) They can be awfully powerful at times and having tools to navigate through them is priceless.
Haha I love your questioning of yourself and how you help yourself have perspective. Walk into some fresh air of color!